The "Mother-Wife"

Several weekends ago James and I spent some time with another couple (that shall remain nameless to protect the innocent). We had a wonderful time and enjoyed their company very much. However, throughout the weekend, I found myself quite annoyed by the "mothering" the wife did of the husband. Specifically the telling the husband to do "x" and then giving specific instructions on how "x" should be done. Every move he made was up for review. Her actions were not done out of malice or ill intent, but out of habit. His response didn't include anger or even contempt for her critique. Do not misunderstand...they seemed quite happy with each other; I was the one bothered by the whole thing.

Until... James and I went to order our usual Arby's for dinner before the Ranger game and to my surprise I told him exactly how to order. I even said, "Now tell her..."

OHHHH NOOOOOO! I am a "mother-wife"!!!!

I was shocked!!! Did I sound just like the "mother-wife" who had annoyed me so greatly? How could this be? I even went as far as to justify my instructions after I gave them. There I was becoming the woman I was so annoyed by just so he would not order curly fries.

I thought about this incident for days. How could I have talked to my husband (who by the way provides a wonderful life us) like he was four? When you are a mother 24/7 and you do not take much time to yourself, it is hard to stop the urge to mother someone. If I do not tell my son to wash his hands after he goes to the bathroom, he probably won't. If I tell my husband the same...it is time for a night off!

Being a wife and mother at the same time, all the time is not an easy task. Unfortunately it often leads to a women becoming a "mother-wife" instead of a mother and a wife.

"Dear God, give me the strength to be mother and to be a wife and the sanity to know the difference."


Gardens of Lace said...

Well, are you talking about me? :)


Sara Isbell said...

no Kimberly - I am not talking about you! Not even close.

Gardens of Lace said...

Well of course I didn't think so! :)

ross said...

I have always wondered how conversations between my sisters went...

Now I have a picture! :)
.ross blog