Mrs. Witcher

Well , school is in full swing and Tucker is adjusting perfectly to his new class. I was nervous about everything and spent way too much time, money, energy..... getting everything together. That is what I do with my nervous energy:) But after finding the perfect nap mat, backpack, lunch box and first day of school outfit we were ready to go. I have spent weeks praying that Tucker would get a teacher who had a desire to know him and understand him. Mrs. Witcher was the answer I had hoped for! (There is another teacher in the room and we love her too!) After just two weeks of school, Tucker was talking about her constantly to me. Every school morning he wakes up and can't wait to go see her.

When I picked him up on Thursday and we were all standing at the door he says, "Mrs. Witcher, will you come over to my house after school today so you can see me in my batman costume? You can wear your costume if you want to and we can play in my Spiderman tent!" Mrs. Witcher says, "Tucker every time I think of batman I always think he looks just like you. Thanks for inviting me to your house." Then she gave me a wink.

Tonight at bed time he even added Mrs. Witcher to his usual prayer...

"Dear God, Thank you for mommy, daddy, Tucker, Elizabeth and Mrs. Witcher. Help us all to be safe and happy. Amen."

Glory to God in the highest and peace in mother's heart!!!

Birthdays

It seems like each birthday comes around faster and faster. It is hard to believe I am 33 this month. I have never really felt old before or even had that feeling where I was worried about getting older or dreading getting older. Mostly I have enjoyed each stage as it came. However, this birthday was different. I feel like I am definitely saying good bye to the "child - bearing" part of life and I am not sure I am completely ready to make that transition. I have already gotten rid of all of the baby equipment and most of my baby clothes, but the "I want another baby" feeling has never left.

Lately I have often been asked if James and I are planning to have a third baby. Some of the people who have asked know our whole story and some are just making conversation, either way the question stirs up a great amount of emotion in me. Part of me wants to correct them and say "You mean a fifth baby?" I always thought that at age 33 I would have had the four children I have always planned on having. I just never thought that after four pregnancies I would only have two children. Tucker and Elizabeth are completely wonderful and fulfilling - they bring joy to every day - the kind of joy that makes me want to have ten more kids. (Not really ten!!!) I know that if God does not give me anymore I will be completely filled up with the two I have. However, I just don't know if I am ready to let go of the idea that there might be one more in God's plan for me. My head tells me that the timing for a another is wrong and that it is time to move on from the baby stage. But my heart has all of the love and desire to hold one more - sometimes I wake up in the night and feel like I have lost something but I just don't know what it is and I just want to find it. I wonder if that feeling will ever go away.

I believe we are asked to live a life of faith - and right now I am trying not to live a life of fear. It is hard to decide what I am more afraid of ... being pregnant or not being pregnant.

Mostly, turing 33 has made me count my blessings. As I drove from Abilene to Arlington on Saturday - I couldn't stop myself from naming them one by one. Although I have no idea what the next year will hold and no idea what I want the next year to hold - I know I am happy to have such amazing people in my life now to take the journey with me.

Thanks to my family and friends for all the birthday wishes... I treasure them!