8.21.2009

My Mushy Brain

The other day the kids and I went up to the Farmer's office to take him a few things and visit him while he was working. He was putting in a few extra hours over the weekend to get ready for teacher in-service and the new school year. The kids and I were so excited to go that we baked cookies for all of the staff putting in extra hours along side him. We arrived just after nap time with a tray of "fresh out of the oven" cookies.

As I looked around and he showed me many of things he had been working on, I was overwhelmed by all of the creative ideas and interesting projects going on around me. I loved everything he did in preparation for the teacher training and was so impressed by all that progress the schools have made under his leadership. One of his co-workers sat down with us for a few minutes and she shared some creative ideas she had been working on and we all began to brainstorm together....and in that moment I realized how far removed I am from the career I once had. The room was getting larger and I was getting smaller. She thanked me for the cookies and I wanted to say, "That's not all I do you know....I went to mall yesterday and got three new outfits for Elizabeth for under 20$". I might have also added, "I did extensive research on getting the best nap mat for your money and I believe I purchased the very best one.."

My brain felt mushy and my resume bleak.....don't get me wrong....I love being a "stay at home mom" and I am entirely grateful for the last five years with my children. I just felt so disconnected to this whole other part of me. I have been out of the work place entirely for the past three years and I can't help but wonder if my mind will be ready when it is time to go back. Right now I spend much of my time settling an argument between two preschool children over who can jump the farthest. I knew those arguments were trying my patience, but are they also stunting my intellectual growth?

I called my mom on the way home to ask if she considered me to be intelligent and to make sure that some of the accomplishments I was remembering from my past really did happen. She assured me that all was well and I would be right back in the career world when the time was right, but for now.....
I can tell you that most people who have eaten my chocolate chip cookies swear they are the best they have ever had.